Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I don’t know.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older, I’m getting older too

So it has been a month…and I haven’t felt anything different. Nothing has changed about the way I feel, and I don’t know how to move on. I keep grieving and all that horseshit but when does it stop? When do I become okay? It is bullshit that you have become okay and I haven’t. I can’t erase anything. I flip through my phone and computer and just stare at pictures of us and think, “wow. we were so happy. We did love each other.” I don’t understand how you let yourself just slip away and not try at all still.

I can’t forget your laugh you make when I make stupid puns or when you sing “stinky pink” in random voices, or when I hear a song you gave me I can’t do anything but sit in silence and look down because I miss you so much. I wish that this could get easier, but I doubt it will get easier anytime soon.